1 john 4:4

4You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

I like to start this off by saying I haven't wrote one of these in a very long time. Not that I forgot about jesus but I just stopped walking in his path and started following my own. When you step off of God's path thing start getting a lil hairy I guess you could say. I've been to jail several times been to rehab. O'ded with my kids in the house. Had my kids taken from me. And it just go on and on. But tonight I called out to god and he of course answered right away. Like he was standing right next to me this whole time arms extended wanting me to come back. 

So I guess it's not a secert anyone that knows me, knows that I've struggled with addiction for all of my adult life. I'll do good for awhile and when I have abiousultly no reason to go back I go back. Anyways after calling out to God tonight I started reading my Bible. I don't know why I was in 1 John but I was and I read this passage. At the time I didn't even think anything. I paused for a second and thought I thought that was in peter or James I didn't know it was first john. But after reading my Bible for several hours and retaining nothing I put it down. I held up my hands and I started praying. I told God how sorry I  was that I went back to drug then went on to tell him that I didn't know what was wrong with me why I couldn't stay away from them. Now I know that the Bible says that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow! Every knee and I believe that to be every sickness every decease, every knee including depression every knee including anxiety, every knee watch this Unforgivness has to bow to that name. Well how come was my addiction not bowing. I know God is bigger than anything but it wasn't bowing be cause I was in the way. or so I thought. See God knows that I've battled this for this long I've asked him time and time again to take it from me. to no prevail. So why isnt this addiction bowing> I told him how i just read in 1 john that greater is he that is in me than he thats in the world. Then i said did you hear that God? Greater is he that is in ME! than he that is in the world....; I said GOd thats you! Youre spirit is In me and I know that your bigger thn any addiction. Why hasn't it bowed ANd then like a bucket of crap it hit me all at once. and I heard in my spirit Well tell it too!!! OMG!! maybe all this time I've been talking to God about my problems and I should of been telling my problems who my God is!!!! 

So I did I broke down and told my addiction tht it had to go, to get away from me and not to return...Dear heavenly father thank you God I'm so grateful that through your sons death on the cross that I've been adopted in to a new home. I am now and for ever more a child of The only GOd and threw his blood I gain something of the greatest value. something money cant buy. I gain the authority over sin. That means that now instead of me listening to the sin that controls me it now has to listen to me. Cause through his death and rsurection I gain the spirit of God dwelling win me. and at that name every knee shall bow.! Lord I just want you to be here right now I got a lot going on nd I'm gonna need you. Keep me close to you oh God so that I will never waver. Greater Is He that is in meew than hee that is in the world......Amen

am i fearful

     I learned something about my self last night. I went up to church like i do most Saturday nights. Brother Otis had been here for 3 hours waiting on me. For real that dude is always 15 minutes early to everything. And I of course like to be fashionably late. I went to the church to clean last night and I learned something about my self. I learned that I am a fearful person. How did I learn this well because brother Otis told me I was fearful. Man this guy doesn't know me at all. Then  he went on to say not only was I fearful, but I cared to much about what people think about me. At this point I was thinking well here we go brother Otis has been processed. He was all like why would you run just stand there and say in the name of Jesus if you want to, maybe you should been running a little more.
      Now if brother Otis tells me I'm a fearful person then I stop and look for fear. When I got home last night I got to thinking about me and fear. And I come up with 4 types of fear I believe everyone of us will fall into. 1 The fear of the unknown 2. The fear of failure 3 the fear of criticism, or rejection and 4 The fear of getting hurt
     First thing I think we should know about fear is that fear is a event not a person. But when we let fear become anxiety or worry then its a bad thing. Did you  know that Micheal Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team?  Or that he missed more than 9,000 shots, lost over three hundred games. He said that 26 different time he was entrusted to take the game winning shot And missed. But he knew how to keep rebounding and shooting again and again. He never gave up.  WE are creatures of habits how many of you parked in the same spot this morning when you got here.
      Think about the most important person in you life. Where did you meet. I doubt that they just walked up on your front porch holding a sign saying you're gonna marry me. I would of been like nope. I'm out. Most likely one of you was in a location or situation that was unfamiliar.
    Fear is a survival technique IF you out in the woods and you come up on a bear with razor sharp fangs and long pointy claws. Fear should kick in and say don't go up and try and pet the bear as a matter of fact Run!! The desire to win must be greater that the fear of failure. Proverbs 24:16 says For a righteous man falls 7 times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of disaster and collapse.
     We fear looking foolish in front of others. WE are afraid of  what they might think or say. Most the time the people that are criticizing you are usually people who have fallen short of their on goals in life. They use to dream but now they live safely in predictable average lives because they fail once.
     If you have set goals worth pursuing you will not reach them without a few bumps. You will be knocked off your feet and you will feel real pain. But that never gives you a reason to give up.
     I heard someone say once "Don't be afraid of your fears they're not there to scare you They're there to let you know its worth it. So whats you biggest fear Do you fear the unknown, failure, criticism or rejection. Maybe you have a fear of getting hurt.
   when your walking in what God's purpose for your life. Don't expect it to be easy. Expect it to be a battle  that's both difficult and lengthy. Expect opposition, expect criticism. And don't let it deter or  you. Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will succeed
Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear anything for i am with you I will certainly take hold of you with my righteous hand. and that hand hols Justice, all the power of victory, and salvation. The greater the call the more difficult the journey

Am I Uzzaih?

            You know the struggle is real. Everyone of us has struggled at some point in our life. Was it money? Family? Our walk with God? It really doesn't matter what the struggle was, as long as we have the solution right. Let me ask you this. How many of you have come threw struggles and are now in a much better place? A place that, when you was struggling, didn't seem possible to reach. You hear all the time if you're broken give it to God. If your going threw something if your struggling, give it to God. Well I'm here to tell you that you need God the most after the struggle is gone and hes giving you back double what the devil took from you. 

              Lets look at 2 corithians at  I teenage boy, who turned to God when he was in the valley of fear. Uzziah was appointed King at the age of 16. Kinda crazy, right? Could you imagine the burden he felt at 16 knowing that he was responsible for the well being of 2 million or so people at that young of an age? I mean I know in today's world kids have babies at that age. But one life is way different than a million. Not only was he responsible for them but he had to be their leader, their all knowing, understanding, graceful. King. So when something bad happened the people looked to him. First thing I think I should mention is a king is King. He's not like the president that we have today. That leads by living the right way and has to make decisions no one else really wanted to make. A king told people what to do, how to believe, how to act. He didn't just mention I think this is the way its suppose to be. He would tell you how it was going to be, and then punish you if you didn't do it. So here is this 16 year old boy. Who has to tell over a million people what to do and how to do it. And be praised if they prosper and ridiculed if they fail. So Uzziah didn't know what to do so he turn to the only thing he could, God. See Uzziah knew he was gonna have to depend on someone to help him make decisions and lead him to lead his people. So he depended on God to do this. Witch was the right thing to do.  And the bible says as long as Uzziah sought God that his people prospered. God help Uzziah tear down walls, and city's. And eventually left Uzziah feeling pretty good  about himself. So can we relate? I know I sure can. I remember one in particular time when I was at rock bottom. One of the many times I was at rock bottom, but that's another story altogether. But any ways there I was. Could get any lower without a shovel. And as always I turned to God. I hit my knees in that 6 x 9 cell, and I prayed for God to deliver me. You see God can be anything we need him  to be. that's why when Moses came up to the burning bush. He asked God "Who should I tell them sent me" God replied I am who I am. Or i will be anything you need me to be. He was making a promise to his people. That no matter what they needed they could get it threw him. And at the time they needed a deliverer. Well god delivered me just as he help Uzziah prosper as king. But when everything was behind me there was no more courts to go to or PO's to go see. I started doing really good. I started my own company was making excellent money> Had a nice ride. I was doing good, and everyone around me knew I was doing good. See I'm from a small town where everybody knows everybody. Witch means every one's noisy as crap and knows your business. So the whole town of Winfield AL watched me go threw a divorce, go to jail. get out, go to rehab, come home and build my business. 

              OK so Lets get back to Uzziah. So he was a good king. A really good king who had accomplished much. Which in turn made him feel really good about himself. He started getting prideful. And giving his self the credit instead of God the glory. The Bible says that he went into the holiest of the holy to burn an offering to God. Now the High Priest was the only one that was allowed to go into the holiest of the holy. So to me it seems as Uzziah thought a lot of himself. Like I don't need the high priest to commune with God. I'm Uzzuah!! That's how I felt when everything was going my way earlier in the story. So I like uzziah was lifted up in pride. And was giving myself all the credit all the time. I didn't matter that everything in my life was ciaos. My home life was in shambles. We fought more than we talked. My work was going down the drain. I spent more time focused on home and what the crazy woman was doing today. And on my addiction that I did the job I was doing. Everywhere I turned things was falling apart. But I was doing good. And taking all the credit for it. Looking back I don't know why I wanted the credit. What was I taking credit for? Paying the bill? Putting food on the table? Who cares about the bills if your wife takes the kids and leaves you in your misery? Who cares about food on the table if there's no one is sitting at it. Anyways a long story short. I fell. And when I say fell I mean fell. I fell harder and further down than I had ever been. I lost everything I had worked so hard for. Except my family. And I came really close to loosing them. And  had no one again. And no where to turn. So I turned back to God. And thts why I wrote this today. To ask my self, Am I Uzziah? 

             So real quick. How do we keep from making the same mistake that Uzziah and I made?

Well the answer is really quite simple. Through our Faith. Its as easy as believing in Jesus and the finished work he did at Calvary. Because when our faith is anchored in the right place, then the Holy Spirit can work through us. And when the holy spirit is working through us the way God wants Him to. Then his Grace will Flow Through our life. And then God will be the on doing the lifting. And when God lifts you up no man can bring you down. God is the only one that can lift you up and keep you there. Isn't that wonderful? We or I don't have to worry about another fall!!!! Am I Uzziah. NO I am a sinner. A sinner that needs saving needs a savor. A man that doesn't deserve any of what God's done for him. Yet her I am. Thank you lord for everything you've done and will do for me. All the hard times God when I would question you and question my faith. I am truly sorry. Thank you for the struggles. Every last one of them. Even the ones that I thought was going to break me. The bible says you will always give us a way out. Lord the struggle from the devil and the test from you have molded me into the person you've always wanted me to be. So I have to be thankful and count the bad times as a blessing. Lord I ask that you help me not be like Uzziah. I know I need you in the good times more than I've ever needed you in the bad. God just help me see that when everything's going good. Thank you for my many blessing Lord. I ask all these things in Jesus' holy name. Amen

Take Up Your Cross Daily and Follow Me!

Take up your cross daily?

So what did Jesus mean in Luke 9:23 KJV?  Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. We hear it all the time take up your cross. But what exactly 

does this cross consist of. I've heard so many  explanations of what the cross is and means that I'm confused. If someone was to ask me what this passage means, I would probably, 1 get that thousand yard stare in my eyes, 2 start mumbling something about struggles and victories, and 3  when it became obliviously obvious to me and the other person I had no clue what I was talking about, I'd try to change the subject sneak off, call my pastor, and ask him. Only to get the same answer I just gave the poor poor soul that asked me. One pastor told me that the cross was a torture device, so it meant to take up your burdens daily. Another told me there is two sides to that cross. One being struggles and the other victories. So I've been going over this question in my head for sometime now. And before you ask, Yes I talk to my self and yes I answer my self. How else am I to know I'm getting the right answer or the right advice. Ok bad pun point taking. Anyhow after several days this is the answer I came up with.

        It just doesn't make since to me that Jesus, the man that brought us the new covenant of Grace, would want someone to get up every morning take up their struggles, their burdens, their baggage throw them over their shoulder and trudge after Jesus. Isn't He the one that said come to me all ye that are HEAVILY labored, and I will give ye rest? How is carrying all our burdens, and worries, and fear rest? It doesn't seem like rest to me. One the other hand take up your victories and follow Me just doesn't set well with me either. That makes it seem more self righteous than anything to me. Like we just won a spiritual football game and we rush the field tear down the goalpost and start parading around with our victories on our shoulders. So you see I just can't seem to understand this at all. Till I start thinking of Paul. Paul says in Galatians 2:20 I'm crucified with Christ nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ that liveth in me, and the life I now live i live by faith in the Son f God who loves me and died for me. AHH There is a cross that I was crucified on. The same cross that Jesus hung on. Jesus carried that cross so I didn't have to. Didn't he? And from the stories it was a struggle. As a matter of fact it was so heavy that at one time Jesus couldn't bare it any longer and had to have Simon carry it for him. So is this the cross that I have to carry daily? And if so how am I gonna carry this thing that our Lord and Savior couldn't bare on His own?

       Lets look at this for a second. What does crucified with Christ mean? It simply means to deny yourself. To deny the comforts of this world. The things that feel good at the time of possession. To say no to me and yes to God. Galatians 5:24 says Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. So back to the matter at hand. So deny yourself take up your cross and follow me. OK we got the first part deny yourself, or to be crucified with Christ. Now for the take up your cross part. I just don't believe that i can tote the Cross of Christ. No I know I can't. I mean you should see me when my wife comes home after buying groceries. I'll have 50 bags hung on every finger and limb I have and just the short trip to the kitchen is bout all I got. Arms burning, fingers turning purple and going numb, eyes tearing up. Lord forbid I trip or stub my toe, cause I'm loosing one of them fingers for sure. So I think its pretty safe bet to say I'm not going to be making the trip that Jesus him self made. Besides as mentioned earlier Jesus carried the weight of the world so we didn't have to. So why would he want us to walk around with the weight of the world(our struggles) on our shoulders everyday. He wouldn't or at least I believe that He wouldn't. Lets recap, we know we can't carry the same cross that Jesus did, so we cant take that cross up daily. But it is the same cross we are crucified on with Christ. So maybe Jesus is telling us that we must deny(or crucify) our self daily. Now that would be a reason to have to take up your cross, because self will have to be put to death daily. Paul says it best "I die daily." So it is a struggle in a way. It is for me anyway. To deny yourself, to say No to the thing that our flesh wants. But at the same time denying yourself is a victory, so maybe this is what my pastor meant when he says there are two sides to that cross one side is your struggles and the other your victories.
     But I think that there is another side to the story. And I believe that it has to do with Gods plan for you and what you are suppose to do in this life. You know if I start focusing on Daryl and what Daryl wants or needs. Then I turn away from what God has planed for me. Lets look at  Jesus. What was the whole reason Jesus came to this earth? To die on the cross right? That was God's purpose for him. And Jesus knew this. And I believe that Jesus struggled with this. The Bible clearly says that he struggled with it.  He said "IF there is any way let me not drink from this cup." But watch this then Jesus said "not my will but thy will be done" He prayed this three time in the garden. So Jesus was struggling with dying for the sins of the world. But he knew that's what God had planned for him to do. So he literally took up his cross and Followed God. Which is a side of this cross I think is left out or overlooked by many. Maybe just maybe It can be looked at like this. Since the cross is the finished work of Jesus Christ, Or Gods purpose for Jesus, even being on this earth as a man. Maybe that's what Jesus was saying in Luke when he said 'Let him deny him self" {Lord I know what it is you want me to do, but I really don't want to do it God. Its Just not me" Even tho Its not my will to be a preacher or a teacher let Your will be done) or your purpose for me still being here, Throw that on my shoulders. (Gods plan or the whole purpose he has you on this earth) and follow Him. You see we all have a Divine reason we are still on this earth. At least I know I do, I've just had to many chances, I shouldn't still be here after all the things I've done. But by the Grace of God and threw His Son Jesus, I have been crucified and put to death, So that now because of the Holy Spirit I can become the finished work He"s always wanted me to be.`